


May I Be Your Shield?

by insanelycoolish (orphan_account)



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: 5 Times, 5 plus 1, 5+1 Things, Adorable, Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Romance, Boys In Love, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Canon Universe, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Confessions, Cute, Cute Ending, Declarations Of Love, Dorks in Love, During Canon, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Fic is Soft™, First Crush, First Kiss, First Love, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluffy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Friendship / Flirting / Thinking of You Fest, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Light Angst, Light Jealousy, Logan gets a little Jelly, Logan has FEELINGS, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Pining, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Friendship, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Soft™, Soft™ Fic, Strangers to Friends, Strangers to Lovers, Wingman Morality | Patton Sanders, analogical - Freeform, minor jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 16:16:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20392540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/insanelycoolish
Summary: While navigating his ever-growing relationship with Virgil, Logan comes to realize that, perhaps, there is more to this"feelings"thing than previously believed.[ Or"5 Times Logan Comforts Virgil + the 1 Time Virgil Intends To Comfort Logan"]





	May I Be Your Shield?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [romantichopelessly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/romantichopelessly/gifts).

> **Disclaimer:** I am not affiliated with Thomas Sanders or Joan, nor the rest of their group. I do not own or make money off of these characters. I only own the story as it is written. Songs used in this fic are owned by the artists themselves and will be linked in the chapter that contains them.
> 
> Super uber thanks to my temporary (but no less awesome) beta reader [Jen](https://sunshineandteddybears.tumblr.com/) and the three that preread to be sure my characterization was on point, [Jen](http://sunshineandteddybears.tumblr.com/), [Lora](http://romantichopelessly.tumblr.com/), and [Cat](http://paperghastly.tumblr.com/). The links will take you to their Tumblrs. If you'd like to follow me as well, you can find me at [insanelycoolishart](http://insanelycoolishart.tumblr.com/) (my blog for fanfiction and other fanart) and [insanelycoolishreblogs](http://insanelycoolishreblogs.tumblr.com/) (my blog for anything I fancy reblogging).

* * *

May I Be Your Shield?

**A Canon Universe One Shot**

* * *

The first time Logan helped to calm Virgil down after a nightmare it had been shortly after he, Patton, and Roman had accepted Virgil into the group. Virgil’s room had become a permanent fixture to the mind palace but had continued to move around until it finally decided to settle as the mind palace attic space. Unfortunately—or perhaps fortunately, though hindsight is 20/20—the room had situated itself directly above Logan’s room. 

At night, he could usually hear the anxious aspect pacing back and forth around the room. At first it had been a minor annoyance but after a few days, Logan had grown accustomed to it, the repetitive dullness of the sound comforting in an odd sort of way. 

So on the night that there had been no sound of pacing, it had taken Logan a whole thirty-three minutes, two seconds, and forty-one milliseconds longer to fall asleep. Though, since he had become used to falling asleep to the sound of Virgil’s pacing, that was to be expected. 

What he had not expected was to be woken suddenly by a loud thump, heavy footfall overhead, and the harsh slam of a door. Blinking bleary eyed, his gaze falling to the illuminated alarm clock told him it was three in the morning in Thomas’s reality. Feeling the bedside table for his glasses, he found them and slipped them onto his face. 

Patton and Roman both slept heavily and the sounds had not been constant enough to break through their sleep. Logan had also been the one to get along with and understand Virgil best and so he thought it fitting that he be the one to check up on him. 

Logan stood, grabbing his robe from the chair near his bed. Slipping it on, he tied it as he crossed the room to the door. Pulling it open, the logical side came face to face with anxiety. 

“Oh! Virgil.” He offered an awkward upturn of his lips. “I heard the commotion and was just coming to check up on y—”

Logan’s eyes widened as he suddenly had a firm body pressed against his own and surprisingly thin arms—how was Virgil skinnier than himself when they were aspects of Thomas’s personality?—wrapped tightly around his body. 

“Oh, um.” Slowly, unsure of how hugs worked, Logan wrapped his arms around Virgil in a similar fashion. A million questions ran through his mind. Was he doing it right? Was he holding on too hard or not hugging tightly enough? Was there more he should be doing? Something he should say?

Virgil sighed in contentment, breaking through the cloud of inquiry and Logan slowly smiled, pressing the side of his head against Virgil’s as he slowly rubbed at the other’s back. It was instinct that told him these were the things he should do. He was not used to listening to instinct but in this case, it had proved to be useful. 

Logan continued to hold Virgil until the other aspect pulled away wordlessly. Virgil smiled as he rubbed at his eyes before disappearing back down the dark hallway. Logan closed his door, returned his robe to the chair, and slipped back into bed. A few moments later, he heard the soft footfall that told him Virgil had returned to his room. With a smile, Logan listened as Virgil paced around his room, falling asleep in a matter of moments. 

Over the next few days, he came to realize a shift in his and Virgil’s dynamic. It appeared that in comforting Virgil that night, it had allowed Virgil to trust him and Virgil opening up to Logan had allowed Logan to understand the anxious side a little more. They both realized that they had become friends and whatever happened, they were both content in that. 

What Logan had not realized was that in opening his door that night to comfort Virgil, he had also opened up the door that would allow emotions to come in. 

»»———— ♞ ————««

The second time Logan helped to calm Virgil down, the anxious side had been in a far different mood. It had been just after they finished the video that would allow Thomas to begin letting go of his ex. He would finally begin the difficult but necessary process of moving on, which coincidentally, Logan had convinced Thomas to name the set of videos. Just enough click bait but not annoying.

Logan, feeling a lot better about things (and still beyond excited at the prospect of taking Astronomy classes), hadn't really been focusing on his surroundings. So when there suddenly was a hand on his wrist, the logical side spun wildly with eyes wide behind his designer glasses. It wasn't until he registered that the person who had pulled him to a stop was Virgil, that he allowed himself to relax. 

Immediately, that knowledge caused a little smile to tug at the logical side's lips. It faltered just as quickly however, once it was clear that Virgil was not happy. A deep frown on his face; dark eyebrows knitted together; and uncertainty, as well as sadness, behind the surface anger in those dark eyes.

"Virgil? Is everything quite alright?" 

Virgil scoffed. "Is everything alright? Is everything _alright_?" He rolled his eyes and Logan felt himself getting a little annoyed and a bit offended by his attitude. 

"That is the question I asked, yes." 

Virgil sighed and ran his free hand through his hair, Logan only able to watch as the other seemed to reconsider this whole ordeal. 

"Look. I know you said you were still there, basically, but you have to know that it's just not the same. It worked out this time, thank God, but you _know_ Thomas. You know Roman and Patton. It won't always work out like that. We've got to work together on this. Next time you leave, at least physically, it could have disastrous effects." 

Logan frowned. He honestly thought they were okay, but apparently, Virgil was still very hurt. Logan couldn't really fault him. 

"You're right, Virgil. I apologize." 

"No, listen here, L. You don't get it. We need y—wait, what?"

Logan rolled his eyes and took a deep, long suffering breath before continuing. 

"I understand what you are saying Virgil, and I agree. I am sorry."

Virgil blinked a few times and, a second later, Logan found himself with an armful of Virgil. 

It was Logan's turn to blink in surprise. A few moments passed before Logan brought a hand up to rub at Virgil's back as the anxious side clung to him. 

"Thank you." 

Logan laughed softly. "For what?"

Virgil looked up at him, and Logan became distracted by the glistening tears in his eyes. They sparkled like diamonds.

"Thank you for being here. For being open to critique." 

Logan didn't know what to say to that and so he just smiled. He expected Virgil to pull away and head out now that they had said what they needed to say to each other, but a second later, Virgil was hugging him tightly once more. Logan's breath caught, feeling Virgil's body pressed against his. He smiled wider, however, raising a hand to brush at the other's hair for a few moments. 

As he held the other, Logan gave into instinct and pressed his lips to the side of Virgil's head, arms holding him close. He didn't know how long they stood like that in the middle of the hallway, but Virgil pulled away after some time with an almost shy smile. Something passed between them, an unspoken vow of sorts to look after each other, before Virgil turned and hurried back down the hall. 

Logan, ignoring how cold he suddenly felt at not having Virgil pressed against him, watched him go with fondness in his dark eyes.

»»———— ♞ ————««

The next time Logan helped calm his friend it was after the Christmas video. This time had been different than the first two in that Logan had gone after Virgil, instead of Virgil seeking him out.

Once the end card had been filmed, the four went their separate ways. Logan had returned to his room just long enough to put his new Sherlock Holmes fanfiction away in a special place he had created just for it before heading back out into the mind palace in search of Virgil. 

He stopped at the anxious side’s room, frowning when it became clear that Virgil was not there. He wasn’t annoyed so much as worried as there was no telling where Virgil could have been at that moment. 

Making his way to the kitchen to find Patton, for Logan felt pretty confident about the chances that the moral aspect would know where Virgil was. As it turned out, Logan need not worry as the moment he reached the kitchen doorway, his eyes cut to the careful side where he sat upon the kitchen counter watching Patton cook Christmas dinner for them. 

Suddenly, Logan felt as if he was intruding on something important. He also felt a rush of something unpleasant but quickly pushed the feeling aside, choosing to ignore it. Turning to leave, he was surprised to hear Virgil call him back. 

“Logan?”

The logical side turned back toward the kitchen just as Virgil reached the doorway.

“Oh. Hello, Virgil.”

Virgil raised his brows. Slowly, he grinned and snorted. 

“Hey, yourself. You doing okay? You’re looking a little lost.”

“Oh… no. Not lost, just…” he glanced into the kitchen where Patton was busy rushing about, focused on the meal he was making for all of them. It already smelled amazing. 

“L?”

Logan blinked. Virgil had been calling him L for a little while now when it was just the two of them. At first, he hadn’t thought much of it except to say that it was _not_ his name. There was something about it, however, that spread warmth throughout his body when Virgil called him that. 

“Sorry. I was looking for you but then I saw that you were otherwise occupied. I did not wish to interrupt.”

Virgil brought a hand to rub at the back of his neck, his face pale but a bit of pink seemed to shine through the powder he used. Logan wondered at that but Virgil was still speaking, and instead focused on that. “It was just random stuff, Logan. You’re not interrupting.” 

Virgil smiled and Logan stared for a few moments. Virgil often smirked or grinned in an ironic sort of way but a smile like the kind he wore now was rare. Not only that, but it was mesmerizing. He didn’t realize he was staring until Virgil cleared his throat. 

“So, uh… you said you were looking for me?”

Logan nodded, thankful to have focus once more. 

“That’s right. I stopped by your room before coming to look for you because I wanted to check up on you.” 

He took a deep breath. 

“I don’t know much about feelings but I assumed Roman meant well. However you were not having a fun time with the caroling. I merely wished to confirm that you are doing better now?”

He watched as this caused Virgil to blush a darker pink even as he smiled far more warmly. 

“Oh! Yeah… Yeah, Logan. I’m chill. Thanks.” 

Logan nodded. He stood there, unsure of what to say next but not wishing to leave for his room just yet. Virgil must have had the ability to read minds because he answered the very question Logan had wished to ask but had no idea how to go about it. 

“I’ve already downloaded some music with the card you got me. Thank you for… thank you so much.”

This time, when Virgil leaned in for a hug, Logan had his arms open to welcome him. He wrapped them firmly around the other. 

“I am sorry.” 

Logan frowned. 

“For what?”

“I must make you all work so much harder what with all the worry I push into Thomas’ mind. It must be so annoying… having me around—” 

“Stop that.” 

Logan pushed Virgil back gently, just enough to capture his gaze.

“It does not matter what we think Virgil—though I assure you none of us thinks that. What matters is that Roman was right when he edited the line to what he did. You are our friend now, Virgil. We will look out for you.”

There was a short space of time where Virgil just stared. In the moments that follow, the anxious side pressed back into Logan’s arms. Logan was content in holding him close as he rubbed tiny, smooth circles into his back.”

If Virgil had let a tear or two escape, Logan did as he expected Virgil would prefer and pretended not to notice. 

»»———— ♞ ————««

The fourth time Logan calmed the anxious side, Logan had gone after the other as soon as the video was done. It had been when Deceit had first made an appearance. Well, no. It had been when Deceit had first made his appearance to _Thomas_. 

Logan couldn’t blame Virgil for needing to get away. The snake had done a lot more harm to Virgil than to the rest of them. He had also hurt Thomas, which was and would always likely be a sore spot for Virgil. 

Logan had considered leaving Virgil alone but something told him to go after the anxious side. Something Patton called _instincts_. He had, of course, heard about and read up on instincts but reading and having a distant understanding of them as a concept had not prepared him for the practical application of such a phenomenon. 

In fact, he had still been completely set on ignoring the urge to listen to them when Patton had joined him where he stood after watching Virgil climb the mind palace stairs some time ago. 

“You gonna go after him, Logan?”

“Huh? Oh, hm… I wasn’t planning on it…” He hesitated. He really did want to be with Virgil—to comfort him—but he still needed that extra push. 

“I think Virgil would really like it if you did.”

Logan looked over at Patton. There was a sly sort of smile on the moral side’s face. If it wasn’t for the twinkling in his gaze, Logan would have suspected it were Deceit masquerading as his friend once again. Logan blushed but chose not to read into the look any further than he had already.

“You think so?”

Patton smiled more softly.

“I do, but it doesn’t really matter what I think, in the end. Not that it matters… but am I wrong or have you already made up your mind?”

Logan was surprised. Delightfully so. He also felt a twinge of guilt. Patton was so much smarter than any of them—save, perhaps, Virgil—gave him credit for. Logan most of all.

“Patton… I—thank you.”

Patton winked. “Don’t sweat it, Lo. Just give Virgil some hugs from me.”

Logan watched Patton walk away before hurrying up the stairs. 

Knocking on the door, Logan heard a shuffle and the clearing of one’s throat. Virgil’s voice then called through the door. The logical side was 100% certain he could hear lingering sobs and the roughness from crying in his words.

“Go away!”

Logan frowned. He was about to do just that—obviously he and Patton had read it all wrong—but couldn’t let himself move without trying first. 

“Hello, Virgil. It’s Logan… I just wanted to check up—”

He didn’t get a chance to finish. 

Virgil threw open the door before quickly burrowing himself against Logan. 

Logan’s eyes widened but he smiled softly and wrapped his arms tightly around the other. What had started out as awkward and clumsy when they had first started their friendship was now becoming almost second nature. 

He had never considered himself a tactile person but Virgil was causing him to try all kinds of things he would have never otherwise considered.

“Hey,” Virgil said, voice muffled and rough. He sounded content at the moment now, which put Logan at ease. 

“Hello.” He smiled. 

Logan somehow managed to get the other back into his room after some time, helping him to his bed and sitting on the edge of it while they talked for awhile. 

When Logan finally left for sleep that night, he had been surprised to find hours had passed with him unaware while in the anxious side’s presence. 

»»———— ♞ ————««

The next time Logan comforted Virgil had been quite a while after the last. There had been times, of course, that he had offered support or encouragement to the anxious side and Virgil had offered him a willing, listening ear but it wasn’t quite the same. 

It had been more comfortable in a lot of ways, but Logan found himself wondering if maybe Virgil was going to the others for the comfort he had previously provided the aspect of anxiety. The logical side tried not to let it bother him. After all, with all the free time they had after the Crofter’s musical, he and Virgil found plenty of their time spent in each other’s company. 

Thomas had taken some time off making smaller videos in favor of spending more time on the content and brainstorming of future Sanders Sides episodes. Because of this, Roman was often in deep discussions with Thomas, and Patton—who was the heart of the matter, as it were—was often consulted on various topics. It was becoming clearer and clearer that Thomas wanted to bring more heart and emotion to the series. 

Logan found solidarity with Virgil in the fact that neither of them felt that such a change was the best idea nor were they exactly thrilled with those changes. Logan had been happy to know that he wasn’t alone in his displeasure.

As the year went on, however, Virgil began spending more and more time with Patton and Logan felt himself growing more and more lonely. Rather than bring the matter up to either of them, he began to hole up in his room reading and rereading all of the books he owned. 

Unfortunately, because of this choice, when it came time to film the new, long awaited video, both Logan and Roman were instantly at each other’s throats (figuratively, of course). Which threw a metaphorical wrench into all of Logan’s flawless planning. 

The original idea for the video was lost and instead the viewers were treated to the raw footage of the very constant struggles the four of them—and, Logan supposed, Deceit as well—faced. Remus, Roman’s twin brother, had been a huge factor too, though Thomas was not yet aware of him. With the way things were spinning out of control however, Logan figured it was only a matter of time.

Basically: frustrations; anxieties; and uncertainties were at an all time high for everyone. Of course, Logan’s own character flaw was the very denial of any flaws whatsoever, including feelings of any kind. Therefore, he brought along all knowledge he possessed in quite an aggressive manner and lashed out at anyone who challenged him. Thomas himself included, apparently. 

It was lucky that they were able to navigate through everything. Patton was to thank for that, though due to Logan’s jealousy were the moral side was concerned, he was finding it extremely difficult to give him the credit he deserved. It also had hurt his relationship with Virgil—at the very least, made it rocky. The one good thing to come out of it was that he and Roman seemed to understand one another better—but at what cost?

As soon as the scripted end card was complete, Logan turned back into his normal form and metaphorically ran for the hills. Literally, he dropped straight into his room and attempted to bury himself into his work. 

_“You’re lost.”_

_“I’m right here.”_

_“It’s okay.”_

It’s okay. 

It’s _okay_.

Logan sighed heavily. 

How could he be so smart yet such an idiot?

He supposed he had Thomas to thank. Their boy was smart—intelligent, even—in a lot of ways but when it came to the heart and feelings, he could be quite slow to learn. Feelings of the romantic sense tended to stop his brain completely. Figuratively, that was. 

So, that was it then. Logan loved Virgil. 

He wasn’t quite sure in what way but it was definitely in ways he didn’t feel for the other sides, or for Thomas himself. Of course, _how_ he loved the anxious aspect didn’t matter as much as it did _that_ he loved him. At least at the moment. He could figure out the rest later. 

_Ridiculous,_ he muttered to himself. 

Now, what was he going to do about it?

_“It’s okay.”_

His mind went back to those words and that tone. They had been said so softly and reassuringly. Virgil, whose whole existence was to bring up all the discomfort and insecurity in Thomas as an act of self-protection, had assured him that how he was feeling was okay. Not only that, but those words had been the same he had used to reassure Virgil at times when he needed it. Virgil never forgot and in fact, had internalized the words Logan had spoken for his benefit as a reminder. 

Here he was, now reminding Logan of the very same. 

By use of _those_ words specifically, it was clear that Virgil had not forgotten and, furthermore, cared about and believed in Logan. 

“And what did I do to thank him?”

Logan groaned at himself, quickly weighing his options and instead of looking at facts, percentages, or ratios, Logan went with the one that _felt_ the most right. 

Rushing out of his room, Logan hurried down the hall. He nearly ran into Roman, muttering an apology but not stopping to see if any damage had been done. If it had, he would apologize once more the next day but at the moment, Virgil needed him and he… 

He needed Virgil. 

Logan practically climbed the stairs in sets of two. When he reached the door, he didn’t bother waiting to catch his breath. (He didn’t have lungs anyway, so why was he out of breath to begin with?) He knocked firmly upon the door and bit his lip as he heard shuffling inside the room. 

The door opened, revealing Patton. The other slowly smiled, apparently not at all surprised to see him. 

“Someone is here to talk to you, kid—Virgil. I’ll leave you _two_ it.” 

He laughed at his own joke but placed his hand on Logan’s shoulder, squeezing briefly before letting go. Though the words weren’t said, the look in Patton’s eyes were clear. The moral aspect was wishing him luck. 

Logan smiled at him gratefully, watched him leave, and then turned back to the open door. He laughed at the symbolism of it all. Here was this open door, which was simple and meant nothing to most people, but to Logan it was the threshold of two choices. 

On one hand, he could walk away and go on living his existence within Thomas as he had been created for. On the other, he could take a figurative leaf out of the figurative books of Roman and Patton and take a leap of faith—or in this case, love—and bring new meaning to who he was and what he wanted to be important to him. 

Though he might have struggled in the past with that choice, now it took little debate to take that final step. Making his way into Virgil’s room, Logan closed the door behind him before crossing to the bed where Virgil laid. The anxious side had his headphones on but as Logan could not hear the music spilling out from them, he was certain that Virgil was only pretending to have not noticed his arrival and was, in reality, listening to his every move. 

Logan hesitated before moving to the side of the bed closest to him. 

“I… I’m going to take a seat right here, Virgil, if that is quite alright with you?”

No answer, but Logan knew Virgil very well by now and knew without a shadow of a doubt that if Virgil had not wanted him to sit there, he would have verbally said so. 

Logan sat, setting his now shaking hands onto his own lap, and took a deep breath. He allowed in idle thoughts on whether the shaking of his hands was due to being in Virgil’s room or if it was all him and the sudden realization of what he not only wanted, but needed to do. Perhaps a bit of the former, he supposed, but definitely mostly the latter. 

The logical aspect took another deep breath, lifting up a hand to readjust his glasses before letting it fall to his lap once more. 

“Virgil…”

Nothing from the other but there was the incremental turn of his head that let Logan know Virgil was paying attention. 

“I owe you an apology. I was upset but I should have been here for you.” 

A scoff from Virgil, but it was _something_.

“I know it is no excuse but please try to understand that I am still learning how to navigate everything it is that I am feeling. How to navigate and understand feelings _in general…_”

A noncommittal type noise from the other but Logan continued on. 

“And how to navigate and understand specific feelings that I have _for you_.”

Logan paused and waited. Silence and then…

“What was that?”

Logan allowed a little grin of amusement to spread across his lips as he watched Virgil sit up and face him with almost dizzying speed. His eyes were red and puffy and his eyeshadow was more smeared than usual. Logan swallowed hard, a twist of guilt squeezing at his non-existent heart. 

“I said, ‘I know it is no excuse but—’”

“No! I heard all that.” Virgil said, waving aside the words. “That bit… about me… at the end?”

Logan laughed softly and a little nervously, ignoring the blush that spread over his features. He did not look away now that he had the other’s undivided attention. 

Turning to fully face the other, he crossed his legs sailor style. He then took a deep breath and reached out to pull Virgil’s oversized headphones from his ears, letting them rest around his neck instead. Another deep breath and he was reaching forward as if to take Virgil’s hands into his own. He stopped just before, allowing Virgil to make the final move. 

Logan could see the figurative cogs and gears turning in the other’s head as he considered his options. Ultimately, however, Virgil placed his hands in Logan’s, causing them both to blush a deep shade of red. Silence settled between them for a few moments and even though it was awkward, it was not too terribly uncomfortable. 

“So…” Virgil said, clearing his throat after a few moments. “You were… you were saying?”

Logan nodded, releasing one of the anxious aspect’s hands to readjust his glasses. He took the hand back once more and began to speak. 

“I… well, Virgil… I would like to assume—and please correct me if I am incorrect—that we are friends?”

Virgil nodded, looking a little confused. 

“Right. Very good. Well, it is known and taught that there are several kinds of love in the world…. Were you aware of that?”

Virgil rolled his eyes but nodded. 

“Excellent. So then you are also aware that friends can and do indeed often love one another—a platonic kind of love. The love of friendship.” 

Virgil swallowed hard but nodded. The look in his eyes was eager and that gave Logan the reassurance he needed to push on. 

“Well, I do believe that I feel that love for all of you. Though, perhaps for me, it is a bit more stilited in comparison. Likely due to what I represent more than anything.”

“Uh huh… sure.”

Logan looked into Virgil’s eyes to make certain that he was following what he was saying.

“Well, somewhere along the way—as we spent more time in each other’s company and helped to support each other—that began to change where you are concerned…”

Virgil said nothing but his hold on Logan’s hands gripped more tightly. 

“I still feel that friend love for you but it is different too. _Stronger._ More intense.”

Logan took a deep breath. 

“I suppose what it is I am trying to say is that… I _love_ you, Virgil. As more than just a friend though I do not yet know exactly in what ways, but I can tell you that when I am thinking of those that I care about, it is you that is at the top of the list, followed by Thomas, and then the others.”

He hesitated, growing silent as Virgil said nothing. 

“I suppose my reason for telling you all of this is that I would like to explore these feelings in greater detail and, if you were agreeable, invite you to perhaps explore them with me?”

Virgil just smiled back at him, shaking his head incredulously. 

“Logan. For someone so smart, you can be dense sometimes.”

Logan raised a brow in silent question. 

“Yes, you nerd. I… yes! I really want to explore that with you.”

Logan smiled brightly but before he could respond, Virgil had thrown his arms around him in a tight hug. Logan hesitated for a few brief moments before wrapping his own arms around Virgil. 

There were still many questions to ask and answers to find for the two of them but, for Logan at least, in that very moment he had all the answers he needed in the form of one anxious aspect safe, secure, and happy in his arms. 

»»———— ♞ ————««

The first time Virgil came to comfort Logan was the same night that Remus introduced himself to Thomas. Well, officially anyway, as the video made clear that Remus had been around for awhile now. 

Logan had been laying in his bed, listening to Virgil as he paced in the room above his own, reading a book with a soft smile present on his lips. Though things had been difficult, and the video itself had been trying, Logan honestly was quite pleased with how it had gone. 

It definitely could have gone a lot worse.

The logical side was so lost in his thoughts and the book that he hadn't realized the pacing overhead had stopped. It was only after a few more moments, when he put his book down to lay open on his chest, that he noticed. 

Brows furrowed as he looked up at the ceiling and then glanced at his watch. Surely, Virgil hadn't gone to bed yet. Patton was the one to fall asleep fast after a particularly trying video but Virgil was better with a half an hour or so longer pacing around his room.

Logan was weighing the pros and cons of going to check on the other when a knock sounded upon his door. Well, perhaps he would not have to after all. It only stood to reason that Virgil be the one on the other side of the door. The chances of it being either Patton or Roman was collectively less than 25 percent. Even less that it would be Deceit or the others. 

Standing, Logan set his book aside and slipped on his robe. He then made his way to the door, pulling it open. He smiled, pleased to see the anxious side standing there in a set of purple and black pajamas. He was a little surprised to see the other did not have his hoodie. By the way Virgil tugged on the sleeves of his pajama top, it didn't seem like he was the only one not used to the change. 

"Virgil?"

"Hey, L." 

"Everything alr—quite well?"

Logan recalled how Virgil had commented earlier that the word 'alright' had started to sound quite wrong. He truly did not wish to bring up the events of the evening at that moment. They should be talked about, of course, and Logan would see to it that they were, but for the time being, they could all use the break. 

Virgil seemed to consider his question before nodding slowly. 

"You know what... all things considered, I think it is. Well, on my end. Actually, that's kinda why I came to see you..."

He trailed off as if just noticing Logan's state of dress. 

"But if you were about to sleep or something, this can totally wait. I mean, it's been a long, crazy night and—"

Logan lifted a hand, causing Virgil to fall silent. Logan then stepped back and smiled as he gestured further into the room. 

"Virgil, please would you come in?"

A grin tugged on the aspect of anxiety's lips before he smoothed it away. Once Virgil had passed him, Logan closed the door and turned to the other. As soon as his eyes fell on the other, he noticed Virgil gripping his hands in nerves. Logan longed to go take them into his own hands. He held back though, wanting Virgil to feel comfortable saying what it was he needed to say. 

"Do you want to sit?" Logan asked, nodding at the bed. He waited for Virgil to take a seat before moving to grab the desk chair from his desk, rolling it to sit before his friend. Once they were both seated, Logan looked expectantly at Virgil, who was looking away and rubbing the back of his neck. 

"I... uh... look, Logan... that... earlier..." 

Logan waited patiently, knowing Virgil would get out what he wished to say in his own time.

"Tonight was hard and I was... I was a jackass."

Logan was going to stop him as he really did not like hearing the other talk about himself like that but Virgil held his hand up to halt Logan this time. 

"Just, please let me finish, L?"

Logan let out a little huff but nodded. Watching the other, Logan took in the way Virgil stoked himself by looking around his room. He could tell that the anxious aspect was focusing more on his thoughts than the room itself but by looking at every few objects, it grounded him in a way that let him get those very thoughts in order. 

Logan couldn’t help the proud smile that slipped over his features. 

After a few moments, Virgil turned to face him once more, rubbing the back of his neck again. 

“Neither Patton or I were on our best behavior tonight, but I can only speak for me when I say that I am very sorry, Logan.”

The intellectual side nodded but said nothing, knowing there would be more. 

“I really need to apologize because I should have listened to you. I wanted so badly to be able to take care of it all—to keep you all safe—but I couldn’t. When that happened I heard Deceit’s voice in my head telling me I was the failure I always thought I was but it made me realize that was just a lie I told myself to not have to… I don’t know. Try so hard? But I had been trying desperately to keep Deceit and intrusive thoughts and the other side at bay… but I wasn’t strong enough.”

He sighed, opening his arms up into a shrug. 

“So yeah, sorry.”

Logan frowned. Wherever he had thought that was going, this was not it. 

“Falsehood!”

He said it a little sharply but truly, Virgil had to realize that he was so much more than he apparently believed himself to be. 

Especially to Logan. 

“There are so many things wrong with those statements that I don’t know where to begin but I’m not averse to a challenge.”

He gave into the urge this time, reaching out to take Virgil’s hands into his own. 

“You are strong. You are stronger than the rest of us. I also owe you an apology for nearly outing you to Thomas tonight but it does bring up a very important point.”

Virgil pulled his hands back and crossed his arms over his chest. Logan did not try to take back his hands. He would never wish to hold Virgil against his will. 

“Sounds fake but shoot.”

“You overcame who you used to be, Virgil. All of us… we’ve grown and the twins separated and became two metaphysical aspects but you alone changed from what you once were to who you are today.”

He smiled warmly. 

“I am positive that if you asked Roman how much _strength_ it would take to do what you accomplished, he would deem it worthy of a knight.”

Logan watched Virgil closely. The other tried to keep himself closed off and surly but Logan could see a sliver of hope in his dark eyes. Virgil looked up at him through his bangs, eyes wide. 

“...really?”

Logan smiled and nodded, holding out his hands for Virgil to take if he desired. He could not help the rush of warmth he felt when Virgil did just that. 

They were silent for a few moments but it was a comfortable silence. Something told Logan that neither Patton nor Roman could have managed it but for himself and Virgil, it just worked. 

“Thank you, L.” Virgil said at long last. Logan nodded again. When silence fell between them, Logan looked down at Virgil’s hands once more. He felt a little jolt of surprise to see that where Virgil’s fingers were long and slender, overall, Logan’s own hands were larger than Virgil’s. He smiled and rubbed his thumbs across the backs of the other’s hands, before looking up only to catch Virgil looking at him curiously. 

When the anxious side caught Logan watching him, he blushed and looked away quickly. Virgil coughed and cleared his throat but did not pull his hands back. He did laugh, the sound a little nervous but still happy. 

“Here I came to check up on you for once and yet, here you are, comforting me again.”

Logan shrugged.

“I don’t know about that, Virgil. I would say it is more of a mutual comforting.”

Virgil scoffed. 

“But I haven’t done or said anything.”

Logan shook his head, leaning forward as he squeezed the other’s hands. 

“On the contrary. I have come to find your very presence a great source of comfort.”

He smiled, unaware of the warmth and adoration shining from his dark brown eyes. Virgil blushed and smiled, his grin awkward but Logan found it precious. 

“... yeah. Me too.” He made a face. “I mean… I feel that way too… with you—you know, together.”

Logan smiled wider though said nothing, knowing Virgil would need and want to work it out for himself.

“So, uh… we both find comfort in each other’s presence then?”

“It does appear that way, yes.”

“More than the average, I mean.”

Logan considered this before nodding.

“Again, I would surmise that to be a likely estimate.”

Virgil nodded in a way that seemed as if several questions he had in his mind were being answered in that very moment. Logan allowed him the time needed to let it all fit. He was in no rush and would never think to rush the metaphysical aspect whom he loved and adored. 

“So… what does that mean… for us… like, uh… what does that make us?”

Logan blinked at him, surprised by the question.

“Well… I would like to assume that we are friends and I like to think we have been for some time. I would say I feel a great deal for you that I do not feel for either Roman or Patton. And I feel it should go without saying that that also applies to Deceit and the other sides.”

Virgil’s eyes widened. 

“You feel a great deal for me? A great deal of _what_?”

Logan frowned, brows furrowed in confusion. 

“I would have assumed that would be obvious but then again I am not as well versed in feelings as Patton is. Very well…” He sighed and fell silent, considering his words. 

“Remember the last time we talked and we told each other that we love each other?”

Virgil nodded, blushing, but said nothing. 

“Well, neither of us had been sure of exactly what that love entailed. Outside of love for a very good friend, of course.”

Virgil nodded again, this time with impatience in his eyes. 

“Well, I’ve come to the conclusion that I not only love you as a very dear friend but as someone I want by my side. Someone I can care for and help to smile. Or comfort when they are sad. I want to hold them and protect them. Be their ‘shield’, so to say, though that is a little too flowery for my taste. It does get the point across though.”

Virgil’s eyes were wide but it was with some concern that Logan noticed they were wet as well. Logan frowned and quickly moved to kneel before him, still holding his hands. 

“What is wrong?”

Virgil just stared at him. After a few moments, a big smile slipped over his lips. 

“Dude. Do you realize that you basically just told me that you’re _in love_ with me?”

Logan considered the words and smiled as suddenly it all made sense. 

“Ah, well. I suppose I did.”

He smiled up at Virgil but before he could say anything else, Virgil pulled his hands from Logan’s and placed them on either side of Logan’s face. The logical side had little time to realize what was happening and so his eyes widened as suddenly, Virgil’s lips were pressed against his. Warm sparks ignited within him and Logan found himself pressing into the sensation as his eyes closed and his body relaxed. 

They broke away a few times to smile or laugh softly before one of them would initiate the kiss again. 

Unfortunately, kissing for long moments on one’s knees was not comfortable, metaphysical being or not. Getting up, Logan moved to sit next to Virgil on the bed, their bodies turned to face each other. 

“That was…” Virgil began. 

“Exquisite.” Logan finished. 

They both blushed but did not look away from each other. 

“So, what does this mean?” Virgil asked, reaching out to take Logan’s hands into his own. “For us, I mean.”

Logan considered. 

“I suppose it depends on your answer to my next question.”

Virgil watched him expectantly. Logan smiled affectionately as he squeezed the other’s hands.

“May I be your figurative shield?”

Virgil broke out laughing, Logan joining in softly after a few seconds. 

“You really should leave all that flowery stuff to Roman but yes… yes, you can be my shield. On one condition.”

Logan raised a brow. 

“And what condition is that, my dear?”

Virgil leaned in and stole a little kiss before pulling back with a light blush and a wry grin. 

“You’ll also be my _literal_ boyfriend?”

Logan smiled. 

“I find your condition reasonable and I accept.”

Virgil beamed, throwing his arms around Logan and not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, the two held one another close.

**Author's Note:**

> **Author Notes:** It has been awhile everyone!!! I have missed you. I hope you all are still excited for my stuff. Here is a lovely analogical oneshot I wrote for my friend Lora. She is so Soft™ for these pining dorks. As am I. I do hope you enjoy it as much as we did. Do please comment and let me know what you think, even if its just keyboard smash but know I'd also enjoy a whole essay if that is more your style. ❤
> 
> The title of this oneshot is taken from the song "May I?" by _Trading Yesterday_. Here is the link to the song: [click](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlFqz7NnoX4). Definitely check it out before or after you read! Jen is so good at finding songs that perfectly fit my plots It is amazing! ❤


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